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Below is a list of eleven things that many high school and
college graduates did not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good, politically-correct teachings
created a full generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
I tend to agree with him !
Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average
teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided
they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No.
1.
Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as
much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a
shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)
Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school.
And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap
label.
Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss.
He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.
Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents
had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either.
They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.
Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible.
This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation.
When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.
Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they
are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are.
And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing
the closet in your bedroom.
Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life
hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished
and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears
not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No.
4.)
Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers
off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10
weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or
helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)
Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your
problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have
to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.
Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all
could.
And, on a lighter note .....
The Retirement Cruise
About 2 years ago we were on a cruise through the western
Mediterranean
aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly
lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the
main dining
room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys,
etc., all seemed very familiar
with this lady. I asked our waiter whom the
lady was expecting to be told she owned the line, but he said he only knew
that
she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.
As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to
say
hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship
for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's
true." I stated, "I
don't understand?"
She replied without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".
So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble,
I am going to get on a
Princess Cruise Ship.
The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on
reservations
at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior
discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the
restaurant,
or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed
every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free
washers
and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5
worth
of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress
replaced?
No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare.
If
you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a
suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama
Canal,
Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?
Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look
for me in a nursing
home, just call shore to ship.
P. S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at
no
charge.
~Author Unknown
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